Nerula 1,400 Report post Posted July 23, 2021 krazykiwi Welcome to the Labour Government Vaccination helpline. It’s Wednesday 14th June, 2023. We note that the border is hermetically sealed with only government MPs, Green activists and Mongrel Mob travelling today. There are 140,476 registered infections, with zero hospitalisations and zero deaths in the last month. We are pleased to confirm that in the interests of speeding up vaccine delivery we have contracted Mr Whippy to provide a nationwide service. Today’s specials include a free mini-cone for every pre-schooler vaccinated. Bring your kids. Bring your neighbours’ kids. Press 1 for a delivery timetable in your area. If you are concerned about vaccine availability, then please know that 15 new vaccine doses have recently arrived, meaning we now have 37 doses in stock. Press 2 if you’d like to go into this weeks lottery. If you have any questions about vaccine safety, including any about adverse reactions, myocarditis, or Guillain Barre syndrome then please, please, PLEASE do not look at the internet. Press 3 to hear Jacinda’s reassuring speech about her government being your Single Source of Truth™ If you’ve had your two jabs and you are keen to collect as many more as possible, then press 4. We’ll enrol you in the Ardern government’s new Vaxx Miles™ program where you can earn exclusive benefits every time you are jabbed with us. Conditions apply. If the wrecked economy means you have no job, no hope, and this is making it difficult for you to get jabbed, then press 5. We’ll have someone kind talk to you, and tell you how to stop being weak, selfish and infantile. If you are a member of the Mob’s Needle Re-Cycling program then press 6. We’ll quickly get a box of pre-loved, freshly rinsed sharps out to your chapter. If you would like to investigate non-vaccine preventions or treatments then please stay on the line. Our team of jungle trained re-education specialists will be around to your place in no time. 99 5 LOG IN TO REPLY REPORT JULY 23, 2021 8:00AM Gruff 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
