RaceCafe..#1...Tipsters Thread.... Share Your Fancies For Fun...Lets See Who The Best Tipsters Here Are.
Boss Hogg

THE GREAT ESCAPE

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Its Saturday morning here at Serenity Seniors Village and we are just putting into place a mission to escape and go and have a bet at our local pub.I know you are thinking why are we residing at SSV when we have a perfectly good home to live in .Well this John Allen muppet rang Winston and told him the down fall of the TAB was caused by us Oldies and we have made his his life a misery.Ah says Wjnston I"ll ring Messarra who yells down the phone "do what you want with them"I don;t want to come back to NZ.

So here we are, Winston took our gold cards and put us in SSV ,We are in a ground floor flat and have come up with a plan to escape. Im tying our bed sheets together to lower us out of the buiding.Because we are on the ground floor we will have to go up to the first floor to get out.My wife Susie  is still in her winceyette nightie and me in my PJ's with the easy access fly .I said we have to go now ,Susie put on her Ugg boots and followed me up the stairs,god she looks sexy in those Ugg boots.

We went thru Bazzas' flat [another trouble maker]who was in bed he didnt even say hello come to think he hasnt been down for breakfast this last week, But we are on a mission so will check on him later .I tied the bedsheet to the balustrade and climbed down Susie followed I looked up and yelled Susie you forgot your pants ah its to late to go back we are on a mission.We took off across the lawns with our zimmer frames. It took about half an hour to get to the gates and then a 1 hour sprint to the local which is 100 yards away.I think we should have got dressed as I think I have frostbite in my easy access fly area .

We go into the pub which is run by 2 nice young lads with craft beer on tap .We go to the TAB area and the big sceen is playing Sam Smiths greatest hits  the small tv has these funny looking horses running up and down in the same spot .I ask old Blue standing at the table what the hells that on the screen ?Blue mumbles its called virtual races .Whens the real races comlng on?It had got to much for Blue who breaks down .Claude butts in and tells me John Allen has cancelled all races and virtual races are all we are going to see now as JA wants all his new young friends to play virtual races .But there is no real jockeys or people I reply.So what has happened to all the horses ?

Monteiths have brought 100 of them says Claude there out the back and thats were we get our Monteiths Golden Ale from.Come to think it that handle does taste a bit warm.Were have our top Jockeys gone "Little miss squeeky and Parkesy ?Tears come to Claudes eyes. Lisa is poledancing down at the Whips and Spurs nightclub and Parkesy is a loader driver at the quarry.Thats terrible I didnt think Parkesy could drive a loader.Boy tis John Allen sure has improved things .Susie whats the 0800[ i'm sorry I escaped ] phone no.I want to go home.

We are back in our flat untieing our sheets wondering what happened to those great days getting dressed up .the crowds laughter,the women fun jackpots betting and friends .Susie tells me she has smuggled a bottle of Whiskey in under her nightie and gives me a glass .I better go up and check on Bazza ,wait a minute that whiskey has thawed me out ,Bazza can wait .Hey Susie do you want to put those Ugg boots back on.

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