poundforpound

My radical plan to fix NZ racing

20 posts in this topic

1. All senior jockeys will get $500 a ride, unless they haven’t won a G1 race in the previous three years, in which case they’ll get $250 a ride.

Apprentices will pay owners to ride their horses, they’ll set their price at the start of the season but a typical South Island apprentice would pay an owner $50 to ride their horse, and the owner can double the fee if the apprentice rides it as they normally do.

 

2. All female jockeys will get a 2kg allowance because they don’t knock horses around as much, except you Trudy, you’ll now have to ride without a stick.

 

3. All class A trainers will charge $150 per horse per day. However, if the said trainer has never trained a G1 or 2 winner they’ll charge $100 a day, and if you’re completely useless like say Pam Robson you’ll pay owners $100 a day to train a horse for them.

 

4. Owner trainers will pay NZTR $150 a day to train their own horses 

 

5. All NZTR staff will now be on the minimum wage, because they’re going to be performance based.

The handicappers will be dismissed and that job will be outsourced to Wellington Zoo

 

6. Trackside staff will now be bulk funded, The weekly pool for distribution will be based on the success rate of the alleged tipsters doing the Saturday shows......and topped up by the City Mission and Salvation Army

 

7. All studs with over 100 acres of land will need to subdivide off 20% of their land and gift it to the industry, debt free, to be used for our common good.

 

8. Stud masters will no longer be able to select their own stallions, mainly because they’re clearly fucking useless at it. Stallion purchase and selection will now be done by a committee of the three top jockeys and three top trainers from the previous season, that committee will be chaired by Peter “Wikipedia” Walker, because he knows everything.

 

9. The RIU and JCA will be disbanded. That role will be assigned to an ex jockey, one who was been a dirty cheating bastard and who knows all the tricks, someone like Jimmy Cassidy.

 

10. The NZRB will be done away with, and replaced by the cast of the Muppets

 

11. The Minister For Racing will be replaced by a figurehead, say a large bottle of single malt

 

12. All criminals and sex offenders should get their welfare benefit paid in TAB vouchers, and have to attend the races twice a week. Really bad criminals ( as in murderers or people who voted Labour ) should have to go to every meeting at Counties.

 

13. Lawyers and accountants will be banned from all aspects of NZ Racing, particularly administration.

 In fact there'll be a bag limit on the useless bastards and they’ll be ritually gutted then strangled with their own guts in the birdcage before every premier meeting.

 

14. Lastly, any track that has fast lines out wide when wet will be closed down and cashed up, the proceeds will be used to establish new world class facilities at safe venues like a Taupo, Foxton or areas that have a good black sand base

 

There we go......now tell me why I shouldn’t be on RITA....or single handedly be put in charge of NZ racing.

 

 

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1 hour ago, poundforpound said:

1. All senior jockeys will get $500 a ride, unless they haven’t won a G1 race in the previous three years, in which case they’ll get $250 a ride.

Apprentices will pay owners to ride their horses, they’ll set their price at the start of the season but a typical South Island apprentice would pay an owner $50 to ride their horse, and the owner can double the fee if the apprentice rides it as they normally do.

 

2. All female jockeys will get a 2kg allowance because they don’t knock horses around as much, except you Trudy, you’ll now have to ride without a stick.

 

3. All class A trainers will charge $150 per horse per day. However, if the said trainer has never trained a G1 or 2 winner they’ll charge $100 a day, and if you’re completely useless like say Pam Robson you’ll pay owners $100 a day to train a horse for them.

 

4. Owner trainers will pay NZTR $150 a day to train their own horses 

 

5. All NZTR staff will now be on the minimum wage, because they’re going to be performance based.

The handicappers will be dismissed and that job will be outsourced to Wellington Zoo

 

6. Trackside staff will now be bulk funded, The weekly pool for distribution will be based on the success rate of the alleged tipsters doing the Saturday shows......and topped up by the City Mission and Salvation Army

 

7. All studs with over 100 acres of land will need to subdivide off 20% of their land and gift it to the industry, debt free, to be used for our common good.

 

8. Stud masters will no longer be able to select their own stallions, mainly because they’re clearly fucking useless at it. Stallion purchase and selection will now be done by a committee of the three top jockeys and three top trainers from the previous season, that committee will be chaired by Peter “Wikipedia” Walker, because he knows everything.

 

9. The RIU and JCA will be disbanded. That role will be assigned to an ex jockey, one who was been a dirty cheating bastard and who knows all the tricks, someone like Jimmy Cassidy.

 

10. The NZRB will be done away with, and replaced by the cast of the Muppets

 

11. The Minister For Racing will be replaced by a figurehead, say a large bottle of single malt

 

12. All criminals and sex offenders should get their welfare benefit paid in TAB vouchers, and have to attend the races twice a week. Really bad criminals ( as in murderers or people who voted Labour ) should have to go to every meeting at Counties.

 

13. Lawyers and accountants will be banned from all aspects of NZ Racing, particularly administration.

 In fact there'll be a bag limit on the useless bastards and they’ll be ritually gutted then strangled with their own guts in the birdcage before every premier meeting.

 

14. Lastly, any track that has fast lines out wide when wet will be closed down and cashed up, the proceeds will be used to establish new world class facilities at safe venues like a Taupo, Foxton or areas that have a good black sand base

 

There we go......now tell me why I shouldn’t be on RITA....or single handedly be put in charge of NZ racing.

 

 

How come those in the hospitality rort are a protected species in your plan

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2 hours ago, poundforpound said:

1. All senior jockeys will get $500 a ride, unless they haven’t won a G1 race in the previous three years, in which case they’ll get $250 a ride.

Apprentices will pay owners to ride their horses, they’ll set their price at the start of the season but a typical South Island apprentice would pay an owner $50 to ride their horse, and the owner can double the fee if the apprentice rides it as they normally do.

 

2. All female jockeys will get a 2kg allowance because they don’t knock horses around as much, except you Trudy, you’ll now have to ride without a stick.

 

3. All class A trainers will charge $150 per horse per day. However, if the said trainer has never trained a G1 or 2 winner they’ll charge $100 a day, and if you’re completely useless like say Pam Robson you’ll pay owners $100 a day to train a horse for them.

 

4. Owner trainers will pay NZTR $150 a day to train their own horses 

 

5. All NZTR staff will now be on the minimum wage, because they’re going to be performance based.

The handicappers will be dismissed and that job will be outsourced to Wellington Zoo

 

6. Trackside staff will now be bulk funded, The weekly pool for distribution will be based on the success rate of the alleged tipsters doing the Saturday shows......and topped up by the City Mission and Salvation Army

 

7. All studs with over 100 acres of land will need to subdivide off 20% of their land and gift it to the industry, debt free, to be used for our common good.

 

8. Stud masters will no longer be able to select their own stallions, mainly because they’re clearly fucking useless at it. Stallion purchase and selection will now be done by a committee of the three top jockeys and three top trainers from the previous season, that committee will be chaired by Peter “Wikipedia” Walker, because he knows everything.

 

9. The RIU and JCA will be disbanded. That role will be assigned to an ex jockey, one who was been a dirty cheating bastard and who knows all the tricks, someone like Jimmy Cassidy.

 

10. The NZRB will be done away with, and replaced by the cast of the Muppets

 

11. The Minister For Racing will be replaced by a figurehead, say a large bottle of single malt

 

12. All criminals and sex offenders should get their welfare benefit paid in TAB vouchers, and have to attend the races twice a week. Really bad criminals ( as in murderers or people who voted Labour ) should have to go to every meeting at Counties.

 

13. Lawyers and accountants will be banned from all aspects of NZ Racing, particularly administration.

 In fact there'll be a bag limit on the useless bastards and they’ll be ritually gutted then strangled with their own guts in the birdcage before every premier meeting.

 

14. Lastly, any track that has fast lines out wide when wet will be closed down and cashed up, the proceeds will be used to establish new world class facilities at safe venues like a Taupo, Foxton or areas that have a good black sand base

 

There we go......now tell me why I shouldn’t be on RITA....or single handedly be put in charge of NZ racing.

 

 

A couple of areas where your solutions show RITA isn't for you .

(1) Senior Jockeys ,  they should pay the owner $500 for a ride , just work out the % they can earn from winning a good race , it's like paying a premium for the best business site , even the best jockey needs a good horse to ride. Apprentices don't need to pay for a ride but they should work 7 days a week in the stables for , say 4 rides a week , both of these scenarios would help the most important person in racing , the owner .

(2) Class A trainers , isn't the class description just a matter of how big a fee they are prepared to pay for their licence .  Class A ,B , C are determined by the size of the fee , we all know ex freezing workers can become Class A  trainers and win Melbourne cups . Class A  trainers are just as reliant as Jockeys on good horses which again places the OWNER on top of the heap . 

(4) Owner Trainers , that's a difficult one , you see as shown above Owners are the most important people involved in racing , by definition the title OWNER trainer lifts these people into the most important category so what to do about them , I know scrap the title owner trainer and force them to pay the extra $50 for a Class B licence , that's all it takes to change the trainers rating .

(5) The RIU ,  OK let's disband it  , who cares  but you seem to be advocating for almost the status quo , historically plenty of ex jocks have been involved in enforcing the rules .

(6) Minister of racing , vote for me Winne , this is the guy  has cost the industry about $18 million in delaying the introduction of race fields , good to see it's actually happening .   No problem with replacing him , a suitable monument ? , I'll pass on that one .

(7) And last , tracks , yes sell 80% of them , in a short time (10 years ) no one will complain , that's because in 10 years a lot of the current track users will retired or dead . Racings best times are well behind us . Racing will continue but in a boutique , upmarket manor , so grab the funds from the fading/dying tracks and invest in about eight tracks around the country , these tracks must be in populated areas  .

After reading this I'm sure you will nominate me for a position on RITA , well thanks for the nomination but  unfortunately travel would prevent me from accepting the nomination , from down here it's a half days walk to the nearest bus stop .

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Two further points Leo.

1. The RIU should be renamed the Racing Image Unit due to it’s lamentable record of protecting A Listers and crucifying B Listers.

2. Every time you bag Pam Robson you should be required to pay her $1,000 or pay the same sum to your favourite charity!

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49 minutes ago, gubellini said:

Two further points Leo.

1. The RIU should be renamed the Racing Image Unit due to it’s lamentable record of protecting A Listers and crucifying B Listers.

2. Every time you bag Pam Robson you should be required to pay her $1,000 or pay the same sum to your favourite charity!

Would be a tidy sum.

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48 minutes ago, gubellini said:

Two further points Leo.

1. The RIU should be renamed the Racing Image Unit due to it’s lamentable record of protecting A Listers and crucifying B Listers.

2. Every time you bag Pam Robson you should be required to pay her $1,000 or pay the same sum to your favourite charity!

Noted..... but let’s agree that every time Robson professes that she “went to vet school” I get to take a grand back ... I know who’ll be the winner, or if you don’t like that how about I only donate when she wins a black type race...once again I won’t be taxing my bank account 

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Totally agree. I would add if you wear a suit u are barred from  all racing activities.it has gone down hill since the suits took over.u must  wear a Fred dagg uniform to hold any position above ticket collector.gumboots compulsory.

 

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1 hour ago, tim vince said:

Totally agree. I would add if you wear a suit u are barred from  all racing activities.it has gone down hill since the suits took over.u must  wear a Fred dagg uniform to hold any position above ticket collector.gumboots compulsory.

 

Like Merv Andrews. Salt of the earth

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On 6/9/2019 at 3:53 PM, gubellini said:

Two further points Leo.

1. The RIU should be renamed the Racing Image Unit due to it’s lamentable record of protecting A Listers and crucifying B Listers.

2. Every time you bag Pam Robson you should be required to pay her $1,000 or pay the same sum to your favourite charity!

Be careful you don't get banned for bagging trainers. I would include any trainer below the top 100 on strike rate!

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On 6/9/2019 at 1:10 PM, tripple alliance said:

A couple of areas where your solutions show RITA isn't for you .

(1) Senior Jockeys ,  they should pay the owner $500 for a ride , just work out the % they can earn from winning a good race , it's like paying a premium for the best business site , even the best jockey needs a good horse to ride. Apprentices don't need to pay for a ride but they should work 7 days a week in the stables for , say 4 rides a week , both of these scenarios would help the most important person in racing , the owner .

(2) Class A trainers , isn't the class description just a matter of how big a fee they are prepared to pay for their licence .  Class A ,B , C are determined by the size of the fee , we all know ex freezing workers can become Class A  trainers and win Melbourne cups . Class A  trainers are just as reliant as Jockeys on good horses which again places the OWNER on top of the heap . 

(4) Owner Trainers , that's a difficult one , you see as shown above Owners are the most important people involved in racing , by definition the title OWNER trainer lifts these people into the most important category so what to do about them , I know scrap the title owner trainer and force them to pay the extra $50 for a Class B licence , that's all it takes to change the trainers rating .

(5) The RIU ,  OK let's disband it  , who cares  but you seem to be advocating for almost the status quo , historically plenty of ex jocks have been involved in enforcing the rules .

(6) Minister of racing , vote for me Winne , this is the guy  has cost the industry about $18 million in delaying the introduction of race fields , good to see it's actually happening .   No problem with replacing him , a suitable monument ? , I'll pass on that one .

(7) And last , tracks , yes sell 80% of them , in a short time (10 years ) no one will complain , that's because in 10 years a lot of the current track users will retired or dead . Racings best times are well behind us . Racing will continue but in a boutique , upmarket manor , so grab the funds from the fading/dying tracks and invest in about eight tracks around the country , these tracks must be in populated areas  .

After reading this I'm sure you will nominate me for a position on RITA , well thanks for the nomination but  unfortunately travel would prevent me from accepting the nomination , from down here it's a half days walk to the nearest bus stop .

Unlikely. Anyone who can't spell "Triple" shouldn't be nominated for anything...:rolleyes:

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On 6/9/2019 at 4:44 PM, poundforpound said:

Noted..... but let’s agree that every time Robson professes that she “went to vet school” I get to take a grand back ... I know who’ll be the winner, or if you don’t like that how about I only donate when she wins a black type race...once again I won’t be taxing my bank account 

Best way to solve it. Who had the best strike rate the last time both training in the same season i.e 2014 and with roughly same starters?? 

How about making it ten grand.

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On 6/9/2019 at 9:46 AM, poundforpound said:

1. All senior jockeys will get $500 a ride, unless they haven’t won a G1 race in the previous three years, in which case they’ll get $250 a ride.

Apprentices will pay owners to ride their horses, they’ll set their price at the start of the season but a typical South Island apprentice would pay an owner $50 to ride their horse, and the owner can double the fee if the apprentice rides it as they normally do.

 

2. All female jockeys will get a 2kg allowance because they don’t knock horses around as much, except you Trudy, you’ll now have to ride without a stick.

 

3. All class A trainers will charge $150 per horse per day. However, if the said trainer has never trained a G1 or 2 winner they’ll charge $100 a day, and if you’re completely useless like say Pam Robson you’ll pay owners $100 a day to train a horse for them.

 

4. Owner trainers will pay NZTR $150 a day to train their own horses 

 

5. All NZTR staff will now be on the minimum wage, because they’re going to be performance based.

The handicappers will be dismissed and that job will be outsourced to Wellington Zoo

 

6. Trackside staff will now be bulk funded, The weekly pool for distribution will be based on the success rate of the alleged tipsters doing the Saturday shows......and topped up by the City Mission and Salvation Army

 

7. All studs with over 100 acres of land will need to subdivide off 20% of their land and gift it to the industry, debt free, to be used for our common good.

 

8. Stud masters will no longer be able to select their own stallions, mainly because they’re clearly fucking useless at it. Stallion purchase and selection will now be done by a committee of the three top jockeys and three top trainers from the previous season, that committee will be chaired by Peter “Wikipedia” Walker, because he knows everything.

 

9. The RIU and JCA will be disbanded. That role will be assigned to an ex jockey, one who was been a dirty cheating bastard and who knows all the tricks, someone like Jimmy Cassidy.

 

10. The NZRB will be done away with, and replaced by the cast of the Muppets

 

11. The Minister For Racing will be replaced by a figurehead, say a large bottle of single malt

 

12. All criminals and sex offenders should get their welfare benefit paid in TAB vouchers, and have to attend the races twice a week. Really bad criminals ( as in murderers or people who voted Labour ) should have to go to every meeting at Counties.

 

13. Lawyers and accountants will be banned from all aspects of NZ Racing, particularly administration.

 In fact there'll be a bag limit on the useless bastards and they’ll be ritually gutted then strangled with their own guts in the birdcage before every premier meeting.

 

14. Lastly, any track that has fast lines out wide when wet will be closed down and cashed up, the proceeds will be used to establish new world class facilities at safe venues like a Taupo, Foxton or areas that have a good black sand base

 

There we go......now tell me why I shouldn’t be on RITA....or single handedly be put in charge of NZ racing.

 

 

um ...because you've got credibility issues?

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46 minutes ago, weasel57 said:

um ...because you've got credibility issues?

Too much credibility ? 

Not suited for racing because I am educated, intelligent, empathetic, and I actually have vision ..... is that what you’re saying you creepy mustelid ?

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Why so angry sir?

You don't want to be that old lonely guy who lives by himself at the end of a cul de sac, with plastic bottles on his lawn to keep the dogs off, and a collection of neighbourhood balls that he won't give back - the type that walks his pet newt on Tuesdays and throws hard boiled lollies at school kids.

Don't be that.

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48 minutes ago, Catalano said:

Why so angry sir?

You don't want to be that old lonely guy who lives by himself at the end of a cul de sac, with plastic bottles on his lawn to keep the dogs off, and a collection of neighbourhood balls that he won't give back - the type that walks his pet newt on Tuesdays and throws hard boiled lollies at school kids.

Don't be that.

Not angry, just taking the piss because you poked your snout in.

Too busy to be angry or old fella .. if you don’t know that you don’t know me 

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