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Ardern pledges to care 9% more by 2030

 
Danyl Mclauchlan | Contributing writer
Satire

Some observers are questioning whether there are sufficient Facebook livestreams to support the goal, writes chief caring correspondent Danyl Mclauchlan 

Jacinda Ardern has responded to a surge in house prices, concerns about carbon emissions and calls for action on child poverty by pledging to care more about these issues. The pledge comes after a week of harsh criticism and opposition attacks, and in response to them Ardern has promised to drastically raise the already high levels at which she cares.

The move has delighted her supporters and international admirers, with US vice-president-elect Kamala Harris liking Ardern’s announcement on Instagram, while calls for the prime minister to receive a Nobel Peace Prize have intensified. But critics and commentators have raised doubts about the new caring, wondering whether the promised new levels of care are credible, and even questioning whether the government should solve problems in addition to caring about them.

Details about the increased caring are yet to be revealed but experts predict it will be in line with the prime minister’s previous track record of looking thoughtful and sad whenever questioned about an issue in front of media, and will consist of furrowed brows, worried frowns, and empathic nodding. The furrowing, frowning and nodding, which Treasury refers to as F2N, will increase by one percentage point a year, aggregating each year to an astonishing 9% increase in Net Prime Ministerial Caring, or NPMC, by the end of the decade.

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Some economists and political commentators question whether these levels of care are sustainable, predicting that Ardern will risk straining her neck and run out of adorable children to do Facebook livestreams with long before she reaches her new goals, while others have suggested Ardern’s majority government should do actual things to reduce house prices and carbon emissions and improve the lives of children, a suggestion Ardern has dismissed as anti-caring.

‘This will be the kind and compassionate caring that New Zealanders expect from their government,” a statement from Ardern’s office read. “As prime minister for all New Zealanders I will put caring at the heart of everything I do. I make no apologies for that.”

In her post-cabinet press conference, the prime minister would not be drawn on whether she would care passionately about child poverty but deeply about climate change, or the reverse. The adverb she would use to care about housing affordability was still being decided. “Intensely” and “strongly” are rumoured to be options and Ardern refused to rule them out, declaring, “I’m leaving every option on the table. I will choose a word ending in ly. That is my commitment to you.”

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Further details about the caring will be determined by a task force, and the State Services Commission has formed a working group to determine the terms of enquiry for the interdepartmental agency that will establish the task force.

Ardern would not be drawn on whether climate, housing and child poverty were challenges, crises or disasters, and in response to questions about their priorities she explained that each of them was her highest priority. “Let me be clear. Child poverty is the reason I became a politician. And climate is the greatest problem facing the world, while housing touches every whānau. So in answer to the question of which I care about more, my answer is: be kind to one other.”

 

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14 minutes ago, Gruff said:

Shes going to declare a Climate Emergency Surprise Surprise, the Looney left will start turning the Screws, and youve got Biden and Harris in the US 😳  People actually Voted ( or not in Bidens case 😆) these fools in 🙄

Another conspiracy theorist.....if anyone is trying to steal an election it is Trump, Giuliani, Ellis and Powell.

If you believe anything they say, you are dumber than I thought......🙄

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3 hours ago, Ohokaman said:

Another conspiracy theorist.....if anyone is trying to steal an election it is Trump, Giuliani, Ellis and Powell.

If you believe anything they say, you are dumber than I thought......🙄

I dont care what you think 😆

I certainly cant say categorically that the Democrats cheated , but given who they are and the Agenda surrounding Man made climate chsnge i wouldnt be surprised one iota.... our opinions are only as credible as our information sources...anythings possible

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14 hours ago, Ohokaman said:

Another conspiracy theorist.....if anyone is trying to steal an election it is Trump, Giuliani, Ellis and Powell.

If you believe anything they say, you are dumber than I thought......🙄

There is no end end to these people Ohaka. They can’t take a good flogging and just lie down. Probably nice people face to face but on here sore losers looking to blame someone left RIGHT and centre. 

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On The AM Show  Garner asking Adern ‘have you seen the report ‘ regarding Tarrant being given his licence and thousands of rounds  of ammo ...’No i havnt read the whole thing yet ,ts 800 pages ....need to wait for review to digest  🧐

Cafers have known this for at least 16 months so how can Adern not? ..and why didnt Garner ask the obvious question, when did you know 🙄 Talk about Cotton wool 😆 Climate emergency madness being announced this week and Adern starts talking about errosion on our coastlines requiring Electric Cars 🤣🤣 you cant make this shit up , our Country is being run by a Socialist and fueled by indoctrinated Stupid youth protesting things they know nothing about . Tough times around the corner

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19 minutes ago, Gruff said:

On The AM Show  Garner asking Adern ‘have you seen the report ‘ regarding Tarrant being given his licence and thousands of rounds  of ammo ...’No i havnt read the whole thing yet ,ts 800 pages ....need to wait for review to digest  🧐

Cafers have known this for at least 16 months so how can Adern not? ..and why didnt Garner ask the obvious question, when did you know 🙄 Talk about Cotton wool 😆 Climate emergency madness being announced this week and Adern starts talking about errosion on our coastlines requiring Electric Cars 🤣🤣 you cant make this shit up , our Country is being run by a Socialist and fueled by indoctrinated Stupid youth protesting things they know nothing about . Tough times around the corner

 

 

So  how did the symbols on Podestas hands end up on Tarrants rifle?....Na no big deal

 

 

 

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Note the date and the timing of Ms Ardern's upcoming statement /announcement this week.

Will it be word for word copy and paste from United Nations?

Who are the New Zealand 'Scientist's' whose research papers are been relied on and why?

It's of concern that Helen Clark & Heather Simpson who were both in New York not that long ago and working for United Nations...what really went on there?

Some people have no clues or common decency, do they?

It's overdue the university education sector had a thorough shake up as some just don't get why the earth changes in the way it does.

it was called 'Global Warming" up until a couple of years ago?
Who changed the name to "Climate Change" and why?

 

https://twitter.com/GlobalGoalsUN/status/1331783482448646151/photo/1

United Nations Coming soon Secretary General weighs state planet

https://www.un.org/en/climate-action/coming-soon-secretary-general-weighs-state-planet

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Miss Ardern  is known to say she is "Guided by Science" , why is it that so many Scientists are plagiarising each others works & that they are not independently "Peer Reviewed" , nor cross referenced for accuracy or adhereing to Common Laws?

Does she not realise we have "Laws" to protect the people?

 

 

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On 12/5/2020 at 8:44 AM, meomy said:

Miss Ardern  is known to say she is "Guided by Science" , why is it that so many Scientists are plagiarising each others works & that they are not independently "Peer Reviewed" , nor cross referenced for accuracy or adhereing to Common Laws?

Does she not realise we have "Laws" to protect the people?

 

 

Interesting how all our ‘expert Coronavirus Scientists are all hard left Climate freaks... just another coincidence 🙄

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It seems the most obvious thing to come out of the Mosque tragedy is the failings  of the Police, but of course Adern will use this event to Control and remove freedom, and as usual will be seen to do so under the reccommendations of an independant Panel, even though those mirrored her view originally....i keep hearing people on the Radio talk about how bad 2020 was and will be good to see the back of it, with a Left Wing powerbase i cant see the next few years that much Rosier🙄

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On 12/7/2020 at 11:04 PM, Gruff said:

Interesting how all our ‘expert Coronavirus Scientists are all hard left Climate freaks... just another coincidence 🙄

That's bc they never learnt education that other folk did.

It's commonsense that coastal erosion happens, idiots like Peter Haynes have spread myths that cows cause damage to the environment when it's a well known fact animals naturally plough the earth and just like human beings require water including to cool down in and bathe.

Some people have weird perceptions of living creatures.

It's time those types of pple who are so Anti Animals got out and worked & lived in the real world away from Computers and Concrete Jungle that they live in and have contributed to Climate Change as they are the one's responsible for all the buildings and rubbish in the atmosphere that have caused these problems.

People need to start asking serious questions why the Computer/ Cell Phone industries and all the Junk packaging, short to non existence lives these products have are not reducing there emissions etc and are not been held to account.

The Tech industry has done much damage to people's lives in a wide variety of ways, more so in 2020 than any year although the damage they did to print Media escalated in the late 1990's. Pierce (Piers) Morgan has much to be accountable for to.

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There was one black fly sitting on the wall. No, this isn’t the penultimate verse of a lengthy song beginning ‘There were a thousand black flies sitting on the wall’, but a statement of fact. The wall in question was in the office of Grunt Robbingson, Minister of Sausage Rolls, Financial Destruction and Money Printing, and the fly mentioned was no ordinary fly, but my very own Spyfly device, which was already recording the activity in the room. My intelligence sources on the cleaning staff had informed me that Justinda Ardeau, the Queen of Covid was on her way to one of her regular informal chats with the Minister.

 

A sharp rap on the door, followed by a clarion call of “Catering”, caused a smile to briefly flicker across Grunt’s saturnine features as the door opened and a large tea trolley with a Cheops-like pyramid of sausage rolls rolled into the office propelled by a perspiring minion.

As Grunt shovelled a dozen or so rolls onto his plate, the sound of approaching teeth was heard and the door opened to reveal none other than St Justinda the Virtuous in person. She beamed at Grunt like a high wattage searchlight, and sat down in a chair by his desk.

“Isn’t life wonderful!” she exclaimed, “two months of holidays coming up and not a care in the world.”

 

“Haven’t you got an emergency to attend to?” enquired Grunt. “The climate emergency. Shouldn’t we all be working on that instead of going on holiday? Emergency suggests that immediate action is necessary. If it had been an earthquake emergency, for example, would we all be going on two months’ holiday?”

“Well, I would be,” said Justinda firmly. “I’d find some mug of a minister to cancel their holiday. We do have plenty of ministerial mugs as you know.” She paused as a thought embarked on, and completed, the short journey across her mind.  “But there would be hugs in an earthquake, so it could be worth it. Just imagine me on TV worldwide, hugging mangled survivors as they’re hauled out of the rubble. But Grunt, we all know this isn’t a real emergency, but just something the UN told us to do.”

“You’re not a little worried about Trevor Dullard’s situation?” asked Grunt. “This could be a bit embarrassing for us in the New Year, couldn’t it?”

Justinda looked a little sad. “I can’t allow him to resign,” she stated emphatically. “He’s my protector for when those nasty people in parliament ask questions that upset me. I need him for when the Flusher is mean to me. That Seemore fellow is very cruel to me too, so I need my little lambkins Trevvie there. No, when we get back from holiday everyone will have forgotten about it. Trust me Grunt.”

Grunt looked rather sceptical, but avoided answering by pushing a foot-long sausage roll into his more than adequate maw.

“I’m thinking of declaring a Child Poverdy emergency,” said Justinda a few seconds later when Grunt’s dainty morsel had disappeared completely. “It will get me a lot of publicity, and I can get lots of photos at kindergartens hugging poor children.”

“But that would mean you have to actually solve the problem, wouldn’t it?” remarked Grunt

“Of course not,” sneered Justinda, “child poverdy reduction is simply an aspiration. Anyway, I’m hoping that the new abortion laws will take care of the problem. Kill ’em before they become a poverdy statistic, and I can say I’ve succeeded. I could get away with that, couldn’t I? My bestie Covid O’Lyin’ would spin me into a heroic demigoddess and I’d be in all the magazines again. I’d win the next election again in a bigger landslide, and I’ll be PM of my Dominion as long as I like.” She gave Grunt one of her stomach-turning winks. “Dominion — get it Grunt?”

Grunt gave a sheepish simper and grabbed another twelve incher. He looked around the room furtively. “Shhh Justinda,” he said. “Not so loud. Even the walls have ears around here. Maybe that fly up there is listening.” They both churckled* somewhat unconvincingly, like a pair of Amazonian Churckling Tapirs.

“Well, I’d better be going,” said Justinda, rocketing to her feet. “Auntie Hellish Quark has an Xmas party starting soon, and I don’t want to miss out on the gummy bears with icing sugar.” She winked again, causing Grunt to blanch and grab another sausage roll.

“Merry Christmas,” said Grunt, through the pastry crumbs.

“I’m going to abolish Xmas,” said Justinda. “Some people use it as an excuse to bring religion into the day. That has to stop. Did you know that on 25th December 1651, the Massachusetts General Court ordered a five shilling fine for observing any such day as Chr – I mean Xmas? I think I’ll do the same, but of course the fine will be much higher.” She screwed up her face as though in thought. “On 25th December 875, Charles the Bald was crowned Emperor of Rome. I think we’ll rename it ‘Charles the Baldmas.’ We could replace Santa Claus with a bald clown or something.”

“Well, there are plenty of those in the Party,” observed Grunt sardonically.

She moved towards the door. “People don’t realise how tough it is at the top, Grunt. I have huge decisions like this to make all the time. What Western traditions can I abolish without the flock of five million noticing — it’s not easy Grunt. Some of them notice and can be really annoying.”

“Merry Charles the Baldmas,” said Grunt, with a trace of a mocking tone in his voice.

“Just Merry Baldmas will do, thanks Grunt,” said Justinda. “And Merry Baldmas to you.” With that she left the room, leaving Grunt chewing on a super deluxe eighteen inch roll.

Your intrepid eyewitness packed up his gear and headed for home, taking great care to wish everyone he met a hearty Merry Christmas.

Aspie 101

 

 

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A compulsive obfuscator and consummate, incorrigible liar is our prime minister, we all know that, but Monday’s effort on the Mallard debacle was gold-medal standard, truly world-class, a masterpiece in mendacity. She hit the truth out of the park. Bravo PM!

Listen from 07:25

Interviewed on Red Radio’s Morning Report by Suzy Ferguson, ostensibly about the Ihumatao land-grab, Ferguson changed furrow to dig into the Speaker’s self-serving hot potato rules-change (actually ‘Speakers Directions’) issue.

 

Ferguson:

“Cost to the taxpayer fairly high on all of this and I see reporting on it that, aah, damages and settlements from the public purse, like in this one, have to be signed off by various people including – the leader; you did that?”

Ardern:

 

Lie 1, a double-banger, or Whopper

“No, no.

Lie 2

That is not the case, ah, what we have is an arrangement for, uhm,

Obfuscation 1

ministers, ah, where in the course of their duties, and this is a long-standing arrangement, so

Obfuscation 2

we had a case recently with the past Minister of Defence who was covered for his costs in appearing for Operation Burnham, uhm, there’s, there’s, a number of examples where,

Obfuscation 3

if in the course of your duties as a minister, uhm, you require legal representation as a result that that is covered.

Obfuscation 4

The decision for the speaker to be treated in that way was a decision taken by the Deputy Speaker, ah, National MP Anne Tolley, on the advice of the Solicitor General, because it needed to be independent of the Speaker.”

Ferguson:

“Ok, and so that was, was Anne Tolley the only person who did sign off on this?”

Ardern:

Lie 3

“That’s my understanding, but th, look, again, uhm, that’s because of course the Speaker recruses, ah, recused himself from making that decision, that needs to be separate. The next person best placed to do that, was as I understand it, the Deputy Speaker, so no,

Lie 4

I’ve not been involved in that.”

Whew! That’s some heavy-duty lying right there, thousands of words could (and should) be written pulling Ardern’s fibs to pieces, this is a very important issue, but you readers are all smart people so a picture will suffice:

99e4fbf092bb664f8bdfa420421618adb034820b

Never mind the rottenness of the rule changes burdening us all with total financial liability for each and every MP’s irresponsible utterings. The only thing that’s truly pertinent in light of Ardern’s magnificent lies is the ‘check’ on the system, under the new rules or old, where the approval of the Speaker (or Deputy, in this case), the Chief Executive (of Parliamentary Services) and “the relevant party leader” are all required, after considering “the extent to which the liability for the legal costs arises from the member’s personal wrongdoing or impropriety.”

So: just who is “the relevant party leader” for tricky Trevor Mallard?

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Anyone else recall the Human Genome Project that was stopped in 2000's that involved Labour Party both in New Zealand and overseas?
It was stopped for a valid reason.

Anyone else notice how it has reared it's ugly head and creeped into existence under the Guise of Coronavirus/ Covid19 genetic tracing?

 

A little history, SUSAN MICHIE who is the (so called) BEHAVIOURAL EXPERT with SAGE, UK has a tidy sideline where she and her current husband, ROBERT P WEST, who are both receiving funding from WELLCOME TRUST ( the legacy of Henry WELLCOME whose history and deeds are all recorded in PAPERS PAST NZ and other reputable sources.

Her mother is the late Dame Anne McLaren who had a key role in founding IVF which is a money making scam out of vulnerable people wanting children who will many a time not know who the father or mother of their children will be and who are at times 'lost souls' in Society.

 

Her father was Donald MICHIE who supposedly 'cracked the code' at Bletchingly, World War 2 era and went on to set u The Human Genome Theory and Modelling in the 1960's - what some are calling B.1.1.1.7 in Coronavirus 19 / Covid19 comes from his Coding Methodologies....

 

Notice the trial of follow the money?

 

What shares. Trust accounts etc does Susan MICHIE have in IVF & GENOME THEORY CONTRACTS across the world?

Be mindful there doesn't appear to be any Disclosure of Potential Conflicts of Interest by Susan MICHIE who has a long history tied in with Communism and Tony BLAIR who Jacinda Ardern worked for/ with , and the New Labour Party 1990's in the UK.

Now what year was Miss Ardern working alongside Tony Blair's office?

One would reasonably expect ALL those disclosures in the Public Arena and accountability.

Wake up people where COVID19 has originated from.

 

All roads lead back to Computers

 

 


 

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Another question.

How does the titular honours system sit with the Marxist Labour and Greens mantra of "EQUALITY"?

(I personally would be keen to view a list of all those who have turned down such pompous offerings and applaud them for doing so.)

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Sustainable Development, aka Technocracy, is the endgame of the global elite who want control over all resources on earth, including people. The “Great Panic of 2020” has been weaponized to create the biggest economic coup in the history of the world.

 

I would again note that control over political structures is incidental to control over all economic functions. When Technocracy prevails, elected politicians of all stripes will be summarily dismissed and engineers and scientists will run the world directly. For citizens, this is the essence of scientific dictatorship: there is no need for representative government because systems will be run autonomously via algorithm.

The threat of killing capitalism and free enterprise is very real and most definitely existential to America as we have known it for over 200 years. ⁃ TN Editor

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A Labour Government of 65 Non Achievers

 

 

By JC

We are approximately three months into the second term of a Labour Government and already their list of non-achievements is mounting up. They are showing themselves up to be what they are, a group who are very good at doing the talking but pretty abysmal at doing the walking.

There is a case that can be made that this is a new government but in reality that doesn’t hold a lot of water. It is the same bunch of no-hopers with the addition of some more useless add-ons. All they had to do was pick up where they left off. Of course, as we all know, there was precious little to pick up.

 

Screen-Shot-2021-01-31-at-4.47.20-PM-630 The same bunch of no-hopers with the addition of a some more useless add-ons.

Some of the headlines from just the past month make interesting reading. The year started with a riot at Waikeria PrisonIn this case the government decided not to even talk let alone walk. Their answer was to just let their core voters burn the prison to the ground. Frankly, I’d be embarrassed to have those types as part of my core voter base. Jacinda, though, kept her smiley face, ladling out hokey pokey ice cream on the Coromandel. This is the lady who, prior to the holidays, said her mobile apparatus would be permanently attached to her anatomy in case of a crisis. They’re easy to lose I guess.

 

Newshub released a timeline showing it took 65 days to close the border. How many times have we been fed the lie that they went hard and early? Well, ad nauseam actually.

The NZ Herald released some interesting data around the free fees policy. The summary showed it resulted in fewer students overall, more students failing, fewer students from poor areas and fewer students attending polytechnics or wananga.

An OECD report found we top the list of OECD for unaffordable housing. What is this Government’s answer? Bring in law changes affecting landlords that will push up rents and revert to a policy of building state houses similar to that of the Labour Government of the 1930s.

Jacinda’s serving of ice creams must have been the sweetener required for her announcement that the borders would most probably be closed for all of this year. She certainly went hard and early with that one! Where does that leave her talk of travel bubbles with Australia and the Cook Islands?

We also learned from Stuff that the Government did no cost-benefit analysis when its final stage Cabinet paper was drawn up last year. This is a $10 billion dollar project. They were voting on who to get to carry out the project without even a business case! As we have since learned, it’s too complex a project to undertake without international expertise.

More bad news for the government came from the NZ Herald in an article accusing them of lying about Police numbers. Without going into detail, this is using numbers concerning new recruits and twisting them to suit your narrative in order to prove a point. By doing this they are lying and they know it. But hey, why stop a habit that saw a landslide result at the ballot box?

Treasury has given advice that they’re not sure exactly how much the government is spending on third-party social services. According to Stuff Treasury estimates about $7.8 billion or seven per cent is spent in this area. But like light rail, the Government hasn’t any idea if we are getting value for money.

What this all means is voters in this country need to wake up. We are being governed by a bunch of numpties who either don’t understand the importance of economics or who are just plain ignorant of it. This is the same government who achieved nothing in their first term and with the second term just starting it is obvious things are going the same way. Without wishing to insult Dean Barker, watching him and his boat perform reminded me of this government. The difference was that the helming of the boat was not altogether Dean’s fault: there were mechanical problems, whereas the government’s disasters are entirely of their own making.

One could be forgiven for thinking that the handbrake, in the form of Winston Peters, was still there. The truth is that there are 65 non-achievers sitting in Wellington unable to govern because, in all honesty, it is beyond them. They have neither the ability or the know-how. The appalling reality of this is that these people are picking up huge pay cheques each week at our expense for doing a job that is beyond their abilities.

To quote Nigel Farage in a speech to the European Parliament

“ I know that virtually none of you have ever done a proper job in your lives, or worked in business, or worked in trade or indeed ever created a job.”

That to me pretty much sums up this Government.

 

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Barry Soper: Failure to hold Trevor Mallard to account shows Labour's hypocrisy

Jacinda Ardern preaches about it time and again: How we should all be kind to each other and to look after our wellbeing.

Well, the Prime Minister's just lost all moral authority to preach to us about niceness, because on that score she's failed miserably - and so have her Labour sheep in Parliament.

You just had to hear them bleating in Parliament's debating chamber as National's Chris Bishop attempted against all odds to move a vote of no confidence in Speaker Trevor Mallard.

It was against all odds because the odds in this Parliament are heavily weighted in Labour's 

favour. It takes only one of the sheep to bleat and the motion fails, as it did overwhelmingly in this case.

If they were an open and transparent Government, if they were democratic and prepared to have the country listen to why National's lost confidence in Mallard, they could have remained silent and the debate could proceed, even if at the end of it Mallard would remain in his job.

Perhaps they felt the argument for removing him would have been so overwhelming - and it would have been - that their defence of him would have burned their political capital in bucket loads.

So in reality they are now telling us it's okay to call a man a rapist, to ruin his life leaving him bereft and jobless? Well, that would seem to be the case.

For Ardern to simply say Mallard made a mistake and he's atoned with an apology for it is simply not good enough.

Within 24 hours of labelling the man a rapist, Mallard says he realised he was wrong. But he waited for 18 months, leaving the taxpayer with a $330,000 legal bill, before he admitted it. He waited for the last day Parliament was sitting to make public his dreadful mistake and issue an apology, on the same day that the Royal Commission into the mosque shootings delivered its report and knowing Ardern had finished her round for media interviews for the year.

This was simply his attempt to bury it, to hope no one noticed.

Mallard may be safe in his job but is now without any moral authority.

The whole case is about, in Mallard's case, power over the powerless.

This case also says a lot about what a cowered society we have become.

I was the only journalist to seek out the aggrieved man to hear his side of the story. Others it seems were too timid, presumably afraid of being labelled themselves for protecting and defending a rapist, as I was on many occasions.

I lived under a hail of social media abuse and vitriol which of course paled into insignificance compared to what Mallard's target was condemned to live through.

This has been the shabbiest episode of inequality that I've experienced since starting work at Parliament before Jacinda Ardern was born.

If this is the Prime Minister's view of being kind and caring for the wellbeing of others, I'm most certainly not on the team five million to whom she so frequently refers.

 

 

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